What to Do When a Stray Pet Isn’t Socializing or Trusting You

Give Your Pet Time to Adjust

The first and most important step in the process is to give your new stray pet time to adjust to their new environment. Whether they’ve been living on the streets for days, weeks, or months, it’s essential to recognize that this transition is overwhelming for them. They might have spent a long time fending for themselves, feeling scared or threatened by humans, or even experiencing hunger and stress.

Create a Safe Space: Make sure that your pet has a quiet, safe area where they can retreat. This can be a specific room, a bed, or even a crate. Let them explore this space on their own and at their own pace.

Limit Stimuli: Don’t overwhelm them with too many new experiences or loud noises. Keep the environment calm and peaceful, especially in the beginning.

Patience is key. Your pet needs time to realize that you are not a threat, and they need to process everything in their new home.

Build Trust with Slow, Gentle Movements

Stray pets, especially those that are fearful or anxious, can easily become startled by sudden movements or loud sounds. When you first interact with them, do so slowly and gently. Avoid making any fast gestures that could make the animal feel defensive or frightened.

Avoid Eye Contact: In the animal world, direct eye contact can be interpreted as a challenge or threat. Instead, let your pet approach you on their own terms.

Speak Softly and Calmly: Use a gentle voice when you talk to your pet. Stray animals are often not used to hearing human voices, so a soft tone can help them feel more at ease.

Offer a Hand: Instead of trying to pet your animal immediately, extend your hand palm down, letting them come to you. The goal is to let them smell and explore you from a safe distance.

Establish a Routine and Be Consistent

Stray animals are often used to an unpredictable life, so it’s important to provide them with structure. Establishing a routine gives your pet a sense of security and helps them know what to expect.

Feeding Times: Feed your pet at the same time every day, in the same location. This not only helps with trust but also builds a sense of stability.

Playtime: If your pet is open to it, set aside specific times for play. Don’t force the interaction, but allow them to approach you on their own.

Resting Periods: Ensure your pet has regular periods of rest. Stray pets may be exhausted both physically and emotionally, so let them have a quiet place to nap.

When animals know what to expect, it can make them feel safer and more willing to interact.

Use Positive Reinforcement

One of the most effective ways to build trust with a stray pet is by rewarding good behavior with positive reinforcement. Positive reinforcement can include treats, praise, or toys whenever they show signs of progress, even if it’s something small like approaching you or staying calm when you’re near them.

Treats and Food: Offer treats that your pet loves when they make the slightest effort to interact with you. This could include coming closer to you or even sniffing your hand.

Praise: Don’t underestimate the power of a soft “good boy” or “good girl.” Praise your pet’s progress with a warm, encouraging voice.

Toys and Playtime: Use interactive toys like a ball or a feather wand for cats to encourage playful behavior. Play can create positive associations with you.

By reinforcing positive behavior, you’re helping the pet to understand that being near you can result in pleasant experiences.

Respect Their Boundaries

Not all stray pets will be comfortable with physical touch right away, and that's perfectly normal. Many may have experienced trauma, abuse, or neglect in the past, which can make them wary of human contact. It’s important to respect your pet’s boundaries and not force them into interactions they’re not ready for.

Observe Body Language: Look for signs of stress, fear, or anxiety. If your pet’s tail is tucked, ears are back, or they’re growling, back off and give them space. Let them initiate the interaction.

Don’t Force Petting: Instead of trying to pet the animal right away, allow them to come to you on their own terms. You may have to wait weeks or even months before they’re comfortable with human touch.

Be Patient with Fearful Behavior: Fear is natural for stray pets, especially if they’ve been mistreated. If your pet backs away or hides when you try to approach them, just let them be. Forcing them into a situation will only set back your progress.

Use Pheromones or Calming Products

Many stray pets are stressed or anxious in their new environment. Pheromone diffusers or sprays can help calm them down by mimicking natural calming scents. These products are available for both cats and dogs and can be helpful when you’re working to gain their trust.

Adaptil for Dogs: This is a pheromone product designed to help dogs feel more relaxed and secure. It’s available in sprays, diffusers, and even collars.

Feliway for Cats: Similar to Adaptil, Feliway is a pheromone product for cats that helps reduce stress and anxiety.

These products aren’t a quick fix, but they can make a difference when used as part of your overall strategy to build trust with a stray pet.

Consider Professional Help If Needed

In some cases, stray pets may have deeper trauma or behavioral issues that require the expertise of a professional. If you’ve been working with your pet for a while and still aren’t seeing progress, it might be worth considering the help of an animal behaviorist or trainer.

Seek Veterinary Advice: If your pet is consistently fearful or aggressive, a vet can rule out any health issues and give advice on how to proceed.

Animal Behaviorist or Trainer: If your pet is particularly traumatized or exhibits severe anxiety, an animal behaviorist can help develop a tailored plan to rehabilitate them.

Sometimes, a professional can make all the difference in helping your pet learn to trust again.

Be Patient – Healing Takes Time

At the end of the day, the most important thing to remember when trying to build a relationship with a stray pet is that trust takes time. Animals that have been abandoned or have lived on the streets need time to heal from their past experiences. The more patient and understanding you are, the more likely you are to see progress.

Q&A Section

Q: How long does it take for a stray pet to trust you?

Ans) There’s no set timeline. It can take weeks, months, or even longer. Every pet is different. Some may warm up quickly, while others need more time to heal from past traumas.

Q: My stray pet is hiding all the time. What should I do?

Ans) Hiding is a sign that your pet is feeling anxious or scared. Give them time and space. Avoid forcing them to come out, and try to create a quiet, comfortable area where they can feel safe.

Q: Is it okay to leave a stray pet alone at first?

Ans) Yes, it’s okay. In fact, it’s often recommended to let a new pet adjust to their environment before beginning any interaction. Let them have time alone in their safe space so they can acclimate.

Q: Should I use treats to encourage my pet to trust me?

Ans) Yes! Treats can be an excellent way to positively reinforce good behavior. Just make sure you’re offering them when your pet is calm and relaxed, and never use treats to bribe them into being touched or petted.

Q: How can I tell if my pet is ready to be touched or pet?

Ans) Look for signs of comfort, such as your pet approaching you, wagging their tail (for dogs), or purring (for cats). If they seem relaxed and calm, it’s a good time to try gentle petting.